A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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