STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
