We're facebook friends in real life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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