Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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