he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
