i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
