My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
