I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
