Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Damn victory sex feels great
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
