so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize