Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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