you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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