with your own penis?
You can't special order awesome
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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