you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
