you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
