God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
COCAINE IS GR8
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize