I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
