i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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