Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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