The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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