ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
