Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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