We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
