There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
