atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
