sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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