I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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