PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
a search helicopter?!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
