and you said cock pushups were impossible
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize