One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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