Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
