idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
