I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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