I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
