so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
