I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
