none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
