my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
