I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
