I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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