So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
