he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
