I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
