omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
