I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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