A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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