I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
