When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize