I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
