why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize