when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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