So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
