you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
