I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
