This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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