you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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