BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
