i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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