i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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