I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
