she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize