Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
