We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
