That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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